Tag Archives: portable

Yellow Snow is Not For Eating (Because It’s Pee)

Seeking Yellow Snow Deposit Area

Go outside in winter, and you’re going to see some yellow snow. You might wonder, “What is that?” or, “Should I eat it?” The answer is an easy and unequivocal, “No.” You should never eat yellow snow, because yellow snow is pee. An unfortunate truth I learned much too late in life after browsing the Interwebs one fine evening.

The Cold Truth About Yellow Snow

Now, what does yellow snow have to do with heating and air conditioning of which I, MrCool, am an expert? I’m glad you asked. A lot of people have dogs, and these dogs, except in the weird cases, go to the bathroom outside. This might change someday, but for right now no one has figured out how to train a dog to operate a flush toilet. When that happens they’ll probably take over the world alongside elephants who paint and gorillas that speak sign language.

But, I’m getting far afield from what I wanted to talk about: dogs and heat pumps and going potty.

You might think dogs don’t mind going outside when it is really cold, because they have fur and stuff. You would be wrong. Dogs can dislike the cold as much as humans, and chances are none of us would want to run out into the yard whenever internal gastrointestinal conditions required it. No, sir! We stay inside where ductless mini-split heat pumps keep us nice and cozy while we do our business.

Don’t you think your dog wants the same thing?

I do, and that’s why tomorrow I am going to talk to my engineers about creating a truly portable ductless mini-split heat pump designed to keep your dog warm while he goes #1 or #2 outside. I don’t know exactly how it’s going to work, but that’s why I have engineers! I’m thinking it will have to be some kind of hovercraft with Intelligent Eye sensors to follow the dog as he does his business. Of course, the real question is do I let consumers operate it on regular electricity or do we go real science and install a compact thorium reactor?

Decisions, decisions, decisions.