Pre-Valentine’s Day Heating & Air

  • February 10, 2015
  • By MR COOL

Got heating?

To ensure you experience Valentine’s Day as romantically as possible, you need to make sure your house, apartment, condominium, timeshare, orbital habitat, and/or woodland hovel has effective winter heating. Why? Because February can get as cold as the reindeer crap frozen on Santa’s sleigh. I mean think about it. Those deer have got to poop at least once on Christmas Eve, and chances are it’s going to all splatter backward if you take my meaning. I bet the elves have to chip it off with hammers the next morning.

I digress.

What I’m saying is you have got to be prepared with ample heating resources on Valentine’s Day to ensure things “heat” up. If you take my meaning, which you might not, because I’m using innuendo. I’m told innuendo is like saying, “I’m hungry,” when you’re really only kind of hungry, but who doesn’t love chips and salsa anyway? I think. To be perfectly honest, I was not listening when my secretary explained innuendo this morning.

But back to heating on Valentine’s Day. Are you prepared?

No? Well, good job on waiting until just about the last minute there, Detective Kojak. You’ve just about got enough time to head to Previous post: ... Next post:


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