Tag Archives: snow

Yellow Snow is Not For Eating (Because It’s Pee)

Seeking Yellow Snow Deposit Area

Go outside in winter, and you’re going to see some yellow snow. You might wonder, “What is that?” or, “Should I eat it?” The answer is an easy and unequivocal, “No.” You should never eat yellow snow, because yellow snow is pee. An unfortunate truth I learned much too late in life after browsing the Interwebs one fine evening.

The Cold Truth About Yellow Snow

Now, what does yellow snow have to do with heating and air conditioning of which I, MrCool, am an expert? I’m glad you asked. A lot of people have dogs, and these dogs, except in the weird cases, go to the bathroom outside. This might change someday, but for right now no one has figured out how to train a dog to operate a flush toilet. When that happens they’ll probably take over the world alongside elephants who paint and gorillas that speak sign language.

But, I’m getting far afield from what I wanted to talk about: dogs and heat pumps and going potty.

You might think dogs don’t mind going outside when it is really cold, because they have fur and stuff. You would be wrong. Dogs can dislike the cold as much as humans, and chances are none of us would want to run out into the yard whenever internal gastrointestinal conditions required it. No, sir! We stay inside where ductless mini-split heat pumps keep us nice and cozy while we do our business.

Don’t you think your dog wants the same thing?

I do, and that’s why tomorrow I am going to talk to my engineers about creating a truly portable ductless mini-split heat pump designed to keep your dog warm while he goes #1 or #2 outside. I don’t know exactly how it’s going to work, but that’s why I have engineers! I’m thinking it will have to be some kind of hovercraft with Intelligent Eye sensors to follow the dog as he does his business. Of course, the real question is do I let consumers operate it on regular electricity or do we go real science and install a compact thorium reactor?

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Eradicate Winter Snow Using 3 Simple Rules!!!

Eradicate snow instantly.

Snow is awesome in December. It’s now so awesome in February. If you want to eradicate snow, I am here to help. If you don’t, maybe this is more your speed, but don’t come crying to me when dark sorcery brings the snowman to life to feed upon the flesh of the living.

Misdirection?

I bet you think because this is the MrCool blog that I’m going to tell you a MrCool ductless mini-split heat pump will eradicate snow don’t you? Well, you would be wrong. Yes, a MrCool ductless mini-split heat pump like the DIY, the Oasis, or the Premier is a great way to stay warm in cold weather, but it can’t eradicate snow. It’s not designed to anyway. I guess if you set it up outside it would eventually melt the snow around your house, but that would take ages.

Fortunately for you I have an even better idea.

Tools to Eradicate and Destroy Snow

First! It is important to clearly delineate the snow are you want to ‘reduce’. You don’t want to get too far out of bounds when it comes to aggressive snow elimination. After all, your neighbors aren’t paying you to clear their lawns, so make sure you don’t. If they want to pony up some cash for your hard work, fine. Otherwise, they can stay shrouded in winter’s manifest misery.

Second, be sure you inform the proper authorities that you’re going to engaging in some healthy snow destruction. The best methods used to eradicate frozen condensate may…alarm some observers. No one wants that, so get ahead of the issue with a quick phone call to the city council, local media, and/or state and county law enforcement.

Third, buy a flamethrower from the international arms market and fill it with jellied gasoline. And…well, you know what? I bet you can figure it out from there. I would explain further, but the company attorney just had a seizure when I told him what I was writing. Good luck on getting rid of your snow. Also, buy a heat pump.

Snow, Snow, Snow and Why It Is Bad

Snow!

Snow. It’s everywhere in winter. Unless you’re one of those lucky souls who live in a particularly southern clime, and you don’t get much. Of course, when you do get anything, your world ends. Remember the last time it snowed in Atlanta? They got zombies from snow. Yeah, sounds weird, but I watched a documentary about it on AMC.

Anyway.

The point I’m trying to make is that snow, while bad, is just a symptom. The real disease is winter and cold. These are bad things. Which is why we all have heaters and furnaces and cats and stockings and other things to not be cold. There’s a whole industry around not being cold, and, you know, I’m pretty happy about that. If humans liked being cold, a MrCool ductless mini-split heat pump would not be as useful. It would be crazy efficient in winter though. Of course, you could also just open and door and let the snow in too.

I’m getting off track. What I want to talk about is the heating capacity of one of our awesome anti-snow heat pumps.

You see a heat pump is like an air conditioner, but it doesn’t just do one thing. You use an air conditioner in summer, and that’s it. A heat pump can do more. As the name implies, it can generate heat, and that is great. You got one one unit in your house that you use in summer and winter. It would be sort of like if your toaster oven could make ice. Wait, that’s a really good idea. I need to talk to some engineers about that one.

But until my toaster-ice machine is on the market, you should check out MrCool.com to learn more about my amazing ductless mini-split heat pumps. They heat, they cool, they dehumidify, they’re great. Don’t just take my word for it. On MrCool.com, you can read everything my marketing professionals have to say about MrCool products. And you can trust them, because they’re honest.

They told me they were, and I believe them. Remember, snow is bad and MrCool heat pumps are good.