Tag Archives: MrCool.com

Financial Literacy Month?

Real Financial Literacy

Yes, it’s weird, but April is actually National Financial Literacy Month in the United States.

Wait, what the heck does that even mean?

Basically, the US government thinks it’s a good idea for US citizens to be informed about healthy financial habits. Stuff like don’t spend more than you make, don’t overuse credit cards, never look a gift horse in the mouth, don’t pet a burning dog, and so on.

Try not to get too excited.

Financial Literacy and MrCool

And now you’re probably saying to yourself, “Sure, I get that, but why are you, MrCool, talking about financial literacy?”

And I say, “Because saving money is just as important as earning money.”

And you say back, “Oh, you mean like saving money every month thanks to a high efficiency MrCool ductless mini-split heat pump like the Premier?”

And I say, “Exactly.” An energy efficient home heating and air conditioning system is a great way to stay ahead of your bills. After all, no one wants to sacrifice home air comfort just to save a few bucks. If they did, you’d see a lot more sweaty people. High efficiency systems, like all the systems you’ll find at MrCool.com, will let you shave dollars of your utility bill and stay totally cool at the same time.

So, how’s your financial literacy?

If it’s not as good as you would like, you need the MrCool Premier, MrCool Oasis, or the MrCool DIY. Studies that I just conducted among my office staff have shown that investing in one of these high efficiency systems will improve your own financial literacy by as much as 50%. You can’t argue with that. It’s science.

Okay, okay, maybe you could argue with that, but it is absolutely true that you can save money with a high efficiency, properly installed ductless mini-split system.

Pancake Day, You Filthy Heathen

Pancakes and faith.

Religion has a whole lot of rules. Most of them I don’t remember, but I have never forgotten the bright and shining glory that is Pancake Day. It’s actually supposed to be called Shrove Tuesday. Sounds kind of like a gardening holiday to me. Pancake Day is a lot happier sounding, and nothing says “confess your sins” like eating a pancake.

Except maybe a priest literally saying, “Confess your sins, you bloody badger!” So there’s that.

Pancake Day is For Everyone

Fortunately, you don’t have to be religious to enjoy Pancake Day. Choking down loads pancakes and syrup transcends cultural, religious, and international boundaries. Well, unless, of course, your religion forbids you from eating sugary delicious egg and flour cakes with lots of butter. If it does, you should seriously consider getting a new religion. No good comes from denying a man a pancake, no good at all.

That’s in the Bible, probably.

But, and this is the important question, are you enjoying your delicious pancake breakfast in the most comfortable interior environment possible? Yes/No/Maybe? Look, you can’t really love a good pancake if you’re uncomfortable. That’s why you need to invest in a MrCool ductless mini-split heat pump. I’ve got three models for you: the DIY, the Oasis, and the Premier. One of these amazing, stupendous, energy saving, and eco-safe machines is going to change your life, and boost your maximum pancake enjoyment threshold. That’s a real thing, look it up.

How?

Great question, glad you asked it. A MrCool ductless mini-split heat pump makes everyday, not just Pancake Day, better! One of our heat pumps will give you exacting control over your interior air comfort and deliver real energy efficiency. So, if you’re just kind of muddling through Pancake Day without getting the most you can be out of your home air conditioner, consider upgrading to a MrCool. You’ll be glad you did, and so will I.

Yellow Snow is Not For Eating (Because It’s Pee)

Seeking Yellow Snow Deposit Area

Go outside in winter, and you’re going to see some yellow snow. You might wonder, “What is that?” or, “Should I eat it?” The answer is an easy and unequivocal, “No.” You should never eat yellow snow, because yellow snow is pee. An unfortunate truth I learned much too late in life after browsing the Interwebs one fine evening.

The Cold Truth About Yellow Snow

Now, what does yellow snow have to do with heating and air conditioning of which I, MrCool, am an expert? I’m glad you asked. A lot of people have dogs, and these dogs, except in the weird cases, go to the bathroom outside. This might change someday, but for right now no one has figured out how to train a dog to operate a flush toilet. When that happens they’ll probably take over the world alongside elephants who paint and gorillas that speak sign language.

But, I’m getting far afield from what I wanted to talk about: dogs and heat pumps and going potty.

You might think dogs don’t mind going outside when it is really cold, because they have fur and stuff. You would be wrong. Dogs can dislike the cold as much as humans, and chances are none of us would want to run out into the yard whenever internal gastrointestinal conditions required it. No, sir! We stay inside where ductless mini-split heat pumps keep us nice and cozy while we do our business.

Don’t you think your dog wants the same thing?

I do, and that’s why tomorrow I am going to talk to my engineers about creating a truly portable ductless mini-split heat pump designed to keep your dog warm while he goes #1 or #2 outside. I don’t know exactly how it’s going to work, but that’s why I have engineers! I’m thinking it will have to be some kind of hovercraft with Intelligent Eye sensors to follow the dog as he does his business. Of course, the real question is do I let consumers operate it on regular electricity or do we go real science and install a compact thorium reactor?

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Eradicate Winter Snow Using 3 Simple Rules!!!

Eradicate snow instantly.

Snow is awesome in December. It’s now so awesome in February. If you want to eradicate snow, I am here to help. If you don’t, maybe this is more your speed, but don’t come crying to me when dark sorcery brings the snowman to life to feed upon the flesh of the living.

Misdirection?

I bet you think because this is the MrCool blog that I’m going to tell you a MrCool ductless mini-split heat pump will eradicate snow don’t you? Well, you would be wrong. Yes, a MrCool ductless mini-split heat pump like the DIY, the Oasis, or the Premier is a great way to stay warm in cold weather, but it can’t eradicate snow. It’s not designed to anyway. I guess if you set it up outside it would eventually melt the snow around your house, but that would take ages.

Fortunately for you I have an even better idea.

Tools to Eradicate and Destroy Snow

First! It is important to clearly delineate the snow are you want to ‘reduce’. You don’t want to get too far out of bounds when it comes to aggressive snow elimination. After all, your neighbors aren’t paying you to clear their lawns, so make sure you don’t. If they want to pony up some cash for your hard work, fine. Otherwise, they can stay shrouded in winter’s manifest misery.

Second, be sure you inform the proper authorities that you’re going to engaging in some healthy snow destruction. The best methods used to eradicate frozen condensate may…alarm some observers. No one wants that, so get ahead of the issue with a quick phone call to the city council, local media, and/or state and county law enforcement.

Third, buy a flamethrower from the international arms market and fill it with jellied gasoline. And…well, you know what? I bet you can figure it out from there. I would explain further, but the company attorney just had a seizure when I told him what I was writing. Good luck on getting rid of your snow. Also, buy a heat pump.

Snow, Snow, Snow and Why It Is Bad

Snow!

Snow. It’s everywhere in winter. Unless you’re one of those lucky souls who live in a particularly southern clime, and you don’t get much. Of course, when you do get anything, your world ends. Remember the last time it snowed in Atlanta? They got zombies from snow. Yeah, sounds weird, but I watched a documentary about it on AMC.

Anyway.

The point I’m trying to make is that snow, while bad, is just a symptom. The real disease is winter and cold. These are bad things. Which is why we all have heaters and furnaces and cats and stockings and other things to not be cold. There’s a whole industry around not being cold, and, you know, I’m pretty happy about that. If humans liked being cold, a MrCool ductless mini-split heat pump would not be as useful. It would be crazy efficient in winter though. Of course, you could also just open and door and let the snow in too.

I’m getting off track. What I want to talk about is the heating capacity of one of our awesome anti-snow heat pumps.

You see a heat pump is like an air conditioner, but it doesn’t just do one thing. You use an air conditioner in summer, and that’s it. A heat pump can do more. As the name implies, it can generate heat, and that is great. You got one one unit in your house that you use in summer and winter. It would be sort of like if your toaster oven could make ice. Wait, that’s a really good idea. I need to talk to some engineers about that one.

But until my toaster-ice machine is on the market, you should check out MrCool.com to learn more about my amazing ductless mini-split heat pumps. They heat, they cool, they dehumidify, they’re great. Don’t just take my word for it. On MrCool.com, you can read everything my marketing professionals have to say about MrCool products. And you can trust them, because they’re honest.

They told me they were, and I believe them. Remember, snow is bad and MrCool heat pumps are good.

Pre-Valentine’s Day Heating & Air

Got heating?

To ensure you experience Valentine’s Day as romantically as possible, you need to make sure your house, apartment, condominium, timeshare, orbital habitat, and/or woodland hovel has effective winter heating. Why? Because February can get as cold as the reindeer crap frozen on Santa’s sleigh. I mean think about it. Those deer have got to poop at least once on Christmas Eve, and chances are it’s going to all splatter backward if you take my meaning. I bet the elves have to chip it off with hammers the next morning.

I digress.

What I’m saying is you have got to be prepared with ample heating resources on Valentine’s Day to ensure things “heat” up. If you take my meaning, which you might not, because I’m using innuendo. I’m told innuendo is like saying, “I’m hungry,” when you’re really only kind of hungry, but who doesn’t love chips and salsa anyway? I think. To be perfectly honest, I was not listening when my secretary explained innuendo this morning.

But back to heating on Valentine’s Day. Are you prepared?

No? Well, good job on waiting until just about the last minute there, Detective Kojak. You’ve just about got enough time to head to MrCool.com, check out our awesome line of ductless mini-split heat pumps, order one, and, maybe, it will get to you by Valentine’s Day. If it does, then you’re going to get awesome heating for your special, lovey dovey holiday. If it doesn’t, you’re probably going to freeze to death, because science.

So, what are you waiting for? An engraved invitation?!! Because, in all seriousness, if that’s what it takes for you to buy a ductless mini-split heat pump from me, we can do that. I have an engraver and everything. His names’s Terry, and he spends most of his time in Sales. Really great guy.

I Love Sushi!

You know what I love? Sushi. You know how I love eating it? While not sweating. Do you know the best way to eat sushi? No? Obviously, the best way to east sushi is while a MrCool ductless mini-split heat pump runs quietly and conveniently in the background.

Duh.

If you’re having trouble enjoying this great Japanese contribution to world cuisine, it might be because your home heating and air system just isn’t cutting it. You need to get online and order a MrCool ductless mini-split heat pump. I recommend the Premier, it’s pretty much the best ductless mini-split on the market.

Premier not floating your boat?

You should check out my Oasis. The Oasis is cool, calming, and, unlike a real oasis, neither packed with sand or mouthy camels. Camels can be real jerks. We were going to package a live camel with every Oasis we shipped, but it turns out shipping live camels across the world is incredibly expensive.

Of course, maybe you’re more of a do-it-yourself kind of person. Might I recommend my MrCool DIY? Even if you don’t know anything about modern heating and cooling technology, installing the MrCool DIY is simple. We built it for the amateur who wants great air comfort while saving money on installation.

Check out MrCool Premier, Oasis, or DIY on MrCool.com, and maybe you’ll finally be able to enjoy a nice California roll.

You’re welcome.

Take a Minute to Relax and Appreciate Me

Taking a moment everyday to kick back and relax is important. That’s why I make sure I devote a solid seven hours to nothing but relaxation every single day. It’s not that I want to sit on the veranda of my beach house drinking expensive scotch while seagulls poop on surfers. I could be doing other things, but I put mental and bodily health high up on my list of priorities.

I’m a temple.

Shocking though it may be, not everyone has a beach house and a veranda. Some people are forced to relax in the only home they own. Unusual, sure, but that’s just the way it is. How can those goodhearted, hobbit-like people ensure they relax appropriately?

With a MrCool ductless mini-split heat pump.

Let’s take a look at the MrCool Oasis. The Oasis is a great ductless mini-split system. It gets reliable energy efficiency, and provides real-life air comfort. You can’t relax when you’re sweaty or when your freezing. Fortunately for you, the Oasis can cool you down in hot weather, and warm you up when it gets cold outside.

Or inside. I guess you’re really more concerned about the inside temperature than the outside one. Anyway, I’m rambling.

My point is that if you have trouble finding your relaxation location, get a MrCool Oasis, MrCool DIY, or MrCool Premier ductless mini-split heat pump. They’re almost as good as a beach house, a veranda, and all the Spanish-language soap operas you can watch.

Now, if I could only learn Spanish.